Selfless Repentance?

I've been reading Dark Night of the Soul, the classic of Christian mysticism by St. John of the Cross. With my ruminations on repentance this Lent, one of John's comments stood out. At this point, he is talking about those who are what he calls "spiritual beginners" and how they (we?) become overly sad when they see themselves fall into sin. John attributes this to their thinking themselves to have been saints already. Then he adds:

"Thus they become angry and impatient with themselves, which is another imperfection. Often they beseech God, with great yearnings, that He will take from them their imperfections and faults, but they do this that they may find themselves at peace, and may not be troubled by them, rather than for God's sake; not realizing that, if He should take their imperfections from them, they would probably become prouder and more presumptuous still."

All of this sparks questions and reflections for me.

First, do I think of myself as being more saintly that I am? On one hand, I can affirm that I am already a saint in Christ. Because his holiness becomes my holiness as we are united by the Holy Spirit, I am a saint. But, on the other hand, my sanctification is far from complete. Do I, with the spiritual pride to which John of the Cross refers, think of myself as being farther along than I really am? Do I expect more holiness and less struggle with sin than I should expect at this stage?

Second, is it so bad to ask God to remove my imperfections because of a yearning for peace? I believe such a desire is God-given. It is hardwired into us. It is a desire for the peace of Shalom -- that wholeness that comes as things are as God intended. That it is good. But still, John of the Cross points to a motivation that I confess I often lack, a motivation that is deeper and more profound. Which leads to a third question...

Third, when I confess my sin... when I repent... when I yearn for God to take away my "imperfections and faults," do I do that for God's sake? If I understand John of the Cross correctly, my repentance needs to be less self-centered. The yearning to be freed and forgiven from sin should grow out of desire to love the One who first loved me. My sin is an offense to God's holiness and glory. Yet that is seldom in the forefront of my mind when I make my confessions.

I think of King David's famous confession: "Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight" (Ps. 51:4).

I'm going to have to keep ruminating on this!